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I Owe You an Apology; I​’​ve Never Actually Seen Seinfeld

from Spare Jingles? by Spare Jingles

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lyrics

I need to address this, it's eating me inside
Oh, the breadth of my crimes is five miles wide
I've been a good man, and our friendship's sublime
but I fear your reaction when you hear that I've lied

When you made a reference, I said that I got it,
We shared a good laugh and our troubles were small
I have something to tell you, you're not gonna like it,
but it's time to come clean that I've never seen Seinfeld at all

I've seen Jerry's face, I've heard of Elaine
There's a guy who's got glasses, but I don't know his name
It's set in a city, New York or somewhere
The extent of my knowledge stops there
I'm not completely naïve, no, I've seen some TV
Shows like Fargo and Lost are more the ones for me
That's not to disparage your show's devotees
I respect all forms of art, you see

So call me uncultured and call me a swine
I hate to admit, it's just not worth my time
When life's as short as it is, you have to make your own choice
regarding things you take in and the things you decline
Well, we all make mistakes and we always regret it
Walking is nothing, but you still trip and fall
It was one conversation, it's all in the past now,
So please just forgive me, and forget this ever happened at all

So I've made it clear, now you know
the ugly truth — I'm not a fan of Jerry's show
I never turned to NBC, years ago,
in my youth, with all the time in the world — did I just throw it away?
Did I just throw it away?
Did I just throw it away?
All my time, did I throw it all away?

When you made a reference, I said that I got it,
We shared a good laugh and our troubles were small
I have something to tell you, you're not gonna like it,
but it's time to come clean that I've never seen Seinfeld at all

credits

from Spare Jingles?, released August 26, 2021
Casey Lenhart — performance
Breese Sherman — writing, performance, production

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Spare Jingles Williamsburg, Virginia

Just two dudes making tunes

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